keskiviikko 28. syyskuuta 2016

Getting back to routines

Hey there! :)

The autumn is going well and I got back to school last month! So now I have 7 months to go before graduation. I'm so excited that my life is finally moving forward and I'm actually getting somewhere. Today I wanted to talk to you guys about few things that have been in my mind lately. First things first, I'm doing well in my life at the moment. I've got so much better since I wrote last time and I feel like I'm recovering well. I was on sick leave for 9 whole months, which is quite a long time to be at home and do nothing. I can only say that is was very necessary because I'm feeling so so so much better now!

I miss Australia, almost every day. There is no week I wouldn't think about my friends and the country and the city I was in. I miss it but I've found ways to cooperate with the feeling. I know I'll be back one day - only God knows exactly when. But I always fight with the feeling of what should I do, like, should I go back there to study and build up a new life? Or should I stay here in Kuopio (where we moved back in recently) and keep living this life I've built up here. I reckon only exchange students might understand what I mean. It kinda feels like I'm never home. I have everything I need, so why would I mess all that up?

If I start thinking about Aus too much I will get sad because I really really want to live there. It's only matter of time (and money...) when I'd return. I miss my friends so much. I'm scared if they don't miss me anymore. If I'm only a foreigner for them too. I really consider changing the way in my life but I'm too scared. What can I do and what shouldn't I?

I don't work anymore. Since I paused my school I also quitted at my work. I found it all too hard to keep on. But I definitely go to school. I in fact had my first HSC trials last week. I had my English and Health education exams and they went well I suppose. I dream of getting a job where I could use English and speak it also. Nothing's impossible, right?

Okay, so nothing much is going on besides school and stuff. Me and Jani are doing great and I really love him. I never thought I could find someone who would care about me so much!
Now I'll put couple of photos here and let's hope I remember to write more often :) Have a great day!

Me and my blue hair in May!
Babe<3 
"OMG MUM WHAT DID YOU SAY I'M VERY SHOCKED" Cara's face is priceless :'D
When my Mum turned 50 :)


~ Viivi

perjantai 29. huhtikuuta 2016

Life ain't so easy

Hey!

It's been a while again... :) A lot has happened though. Can't remember exactly what I have written last time but at least I know what I haven't told you about. It's our new family member Cara! Cara is  from Kennel Suklaapusun and as some of you might know, the breeder is my best friend Emilia. Cara is such an adorable puppy but she definitely has attitude! She is not too soft and has personality. At least she is easily motivated with food and toys and she has learnt many new tricks already. Cara turned 8 months old this month and she totally knows how to pull the limits. But she is a family member no matter what happen.

I've been at home for the last 4 months. I paused school and work due to mental illnesses caused by bullying. Even though it happened few years ago, it will never go away. I got very sick last December and have been on sick leave since. Plans are that I will continue school next autumn and graduate next spring. I don't want to explain it more but I want you to know why I haven't been around lately.

Jani and I have been together almost 1,5 years now. He has been irreplaceable and supported me all the time. I love him to the moon and back and I hope we will get married one day even though I'm not doing so great atm. He has honestly been so amazing and I can't imagine anyone else could've put up with me when I haven't been able to love him as purely as he has loved. Thank God the past weeks have been easier and I'm getting better slowly but steady. Hopefully I'll be able to live normal live again.

But, as all the Finnish people know, tomorrow is Vappu eve and we are throwing a party at our place! How sweet is that. We also moved to this row house in December so I haven't mentioned that either. I love living out here, it's very close to Kuopio but not at the city. Cara likes it here too - she has now her own backyard where to play!

At the end, life will win. Even though it's not so easy at first.

Lots of love xxx

~ Viivi